Real example from an email today:
"Dear C Maggie Woychik [Clue #1 - using an old designation], ............ [Clue #2 - body of book proposal included when we no longer accept book submissions]. I hope I have piqued your interest and look forward to hearing from you soon. [Clue #3 - this author obviously has absolutely no clue because the only thing she has piqued is my weary anger.]"
Solution, final note, resolution to this all-too-often and quite annoying scenario: An author simply MUST read guidelines BEFORE submitting ANYTHING. DON'T shoot your chances for success all to heck and DON'T waste an editor's precious time. PLEASE. READ THOSE GUIDELINES!
Btw, my reply was rather hasty and rude, and not at all fun like our Most Memorable Submissions #1. I replied this way to this author (I really did, an unapologetically so), "Please pay attention to our guidelines. An author who doesn't read guidelines has no business being in the business." (She really said that?!)
Also, rather recently in a submission to Eastern Iowa Review, a submitter said: "Your website is amazing, it is a great read and I hope it is not to bold of me to submit to you." Now, to my credit, I ignored the punctuation and typo, but then the author submitted a work with an identifier. I replied,
- "Dear [ ], we read blind which means we do not accept material that identifies the author in any way. Therefore we'll have to decline this submission. Please feel free to submit something else that does not contain your name or address in either the document itself, on the file name, or in the Title space on Submittable. [Our typical identifier-decline note, but then I added...]
- We mention this several times on our website as well as on Submittable. If you read everything so closely, not sure how you missed it. ???"
Yes, The Woman is getting bold, and more than a little impatient with rushed authors who DON'T READ AND HEED GUIDELINES. Lesson here: If you come upon a reply or blog post or Facebook rant from an editor about getting fed up with this or that, assume they've got the teeniest tiniest right, given the clarity we usually present on our website and the obvious disregard or disinterest on the part of those who violate easy and specific guidelines.
In closing, everyone is rushed and busy. But attentively taking even an infinitesimal piddling microscopic amount of time to fully absorb and magnanimously collect and thoughtfully HEED submission guidelines will go a boundless and eternal and limitless way toward making an editor's job easier, more delightful, pleasanter.
- What can I say?
P.S. I believe that blog posts should teach something beyond the obvious. And be fun to boot!
P.P.S. Okay, okay. Yes, I have highlighted a few objects of prepositions too ...